Profile Problems

As we wrap up our 3 month stint on Eharmony, we thought it necessary to comment on the serious flaws with mens’ online dating profiles.  I give a dedicated 30 seconds of my attention to every profile, so you better make it count.  Your profile should provide me with pictures and compelling evidence as to why I should date you.  Here are some reasons why I won’t:

  • Grammatical errors – I know I’ve posted on this before, but it is a serious issue.  It is 2012 and all computers are equipped with spell check – so use it!
  • Age ain’t nothing but a number – If you are an old balding man with glasses with an age listed as 26, you aren’t fooling anyone.  Unless of course you are Benjamin Button.
  • No photos – Maybe I am just shallow but I’m gonna need to see some pictures before agreeing to go out with you. If you have none, or only one pic, I really don’t have a clue what you look like, and I’m not wasting my time writing back.
  • Photos with your ex – You know who that girl is in the photo.  I know who that girl is in the photo.  I don’t need to see what your ex looks like before I’ve even met you.
  • Self-photography in your bathroom – This tells me you have no friends to take a picture of you.  Or you haven’t been in a social setting in years.  Ever heard of Facebook?
  • Photos with your shirt off – I appreciate an active man and that you work out.  But this just screams COCKY and I would enjoy if a little could be left to the imagination.
  • Photos from a distance – Sure, a couple of big group shots of you as a tiny dot are fine if you are trying to show me some of the cool things you like to do (eg. skiing or surfing). But if all of your pics are from far away, I really don’t know what you look like and that’s a problem. (See above).
  • Photos of your dog – I love puppies as much as the next person, but I don’t want to date your puppy. Want to put a pic of you with your pup? Perfect! But an entire slide show of your dog doing different things is just silly.
  • Incomplete profiles – I understand the process of filling out the endless EH profile can be exhausting, but take a look at this gem to prove my point.  “The six things I could never do without: phone , newpepper.”  First: what is newpepper? Second: That’s only two things.

It really is no wonder that we weren’t successful in online dating after seeing what these cyber men had to offer. 

-E

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