Single Girl Glossary

Chupacabra – a mythical creature of Mexican folklore. In dating terms, the PERFECT man (we all know he doesn’t exist). “E’s chupacabra is a tall, light skinned black man with green eyes, preferably a doctor.”

Hash tagging – this symbol (#) has become a new way to add a thought, or sum up a sentence, giving it more clarity, and often more wit. Most commonly found in tweets, Facebook status, and comments. “We missed you on Spinster Saturday #separationanxiety.” Or… “I got three bouquets of flowers at work today #mycoworkersthinkimawhore.”

Pickleback – instant hangover cure consisting of a shot of Jameson Whiskey and a shot of pickle juice

Raven – E’s alter dating ego

Single Woman Squalor – a state of complete disarray in a single woman’s living quarters. Hair on the bathroom floor, ice cream bowls in the sink, shopping bags on the couch. “My parents are coming to visit this weekend. I guess I should clean up the empty Girl Scout cookie boxes and cat hair so they don’t think I live in complete single woman squalor.”

Spinster – a single woman past the conventional age of marriage. It is not uncommon for a spinster to have had many short term romantic relationships and blame her singleness on her career. “Official Spinster diet: Lean Cuisine pizza, Diet Dr. Pepper, gum, Pirate’s Booty, bottle of wine, and a 4 pack of Slim Fast shakes #spinsterspokesmodel.”

Tease-o-saurus – a spinster’s favorite dinosaur. “I wouldn’t have sex with him #teaseosaurus.”

Tool – the semi-popular rock band from the 90’s.  If a man lists Tool as his favorite band, it is grounds for halting all communication.

Zone – the state of mind when a single woman is at the prime of her sexiness/fliratiousness/drunkedness.  Taken from the Kanye and Jay Z song “N*ggas in Paris.” #dontletmeintomyzone

Check back to this page often, as a Spinster’s vocabulary is constantly growing.

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